Friday 21 March 2014

american selfie

sweet dreams are made of these

this is just going to take a minute
you're intense and need a stabilizer  
a tranquilizer, a maximizer
just a little bump
to keep you
on toppa

tings 



a m e r i c a n   s e l f i e



that friendly - feminine voice - the voice of comfort 

relax - ok just shut
the f*ck up and listen
ok, your finances are low
and your blood pressure is high
we can fix all that

whispering - shhhh









 ok, we've developed this little cocktail
just for you and you're just right for the trial run
good news - i've just talked to my manager 
congratulations!  you're IN

yes - you qualify!

just be patient - ok not just yet

if you believe in the prescription transcription
it's new, improved and approved
you're doing just fine

relax

oh right, your insurance may not cover this
do you have a back-up plan 
a contingency - i mean

credit card perhaps


who am i to disagree


there you go - are we feeling better yet
oh more - you want more - no
that's not how this works

who do i work for ?
not important









i get angry sometimes
assholes - all of them
no worries - i got it all in check
it's all about the reassurance
i've been recruited
by the best

trust me, it's all i ask
it's all going to be
ok

rage/rape management comes with membership
and i'm an employee - yep big perks
ok like, you - can be just like
ME


travel the world - and the seven seas


we've got this all under control
OMG like - i got this phone 
and can take pictures
of myself in like - high def
and post them on-line
with my friends

i can even have "friends"
that i don't even really have
how frikkin cool
is that


?








everybody's looking for something


so ok, enough about you - let's talk about
ME

i gotta story to tell and gosh darnit
i'm gonna get this out there

the american dream can be real
you just have to believe
this is a slam-dunk
scenerio


some of them want to use you


just follow along and remain calm
it's all i ask








your paralysis progress report will be available
on-line in just a few short weeks
- at www.youareofficiallyfucked.com - 
oh and your membership comes with 24/7 tech support

just sign in with your username
credit card number 
and password

we got you covered - you're beautiful
you're going to be
ok



a m e r i c a n   s e l f i e
  


until then

just relax, strapped in
put on your high fidelity ear-buds
and drift into your familiar slumber
oh you like the "Beebs"
get the f*ck out

!








yes, you too can be a "belieber"
hey kids - just plug and play

medication is not that bad really
once you get used to it


some of them want to be 
used by you


it's like taking that little trip back home
and into that comfort carnival
that you've become 
accustomed to
only better

because we have this way
of making the pain go away
while you still maintain 
your 3 squares a day

hey mom - STOP EATING!









oh right, did i mention - there's a disclaimer
nothing important really
it's just this contract you need to sign
ok, right - right here 
on the dotted line

this is something you're deciding to do yes
it's not something that we can ultimately
be responsible for


i'm gonna use you
abuse you


 no worries - all ok, just relax - just surrender to the process
you're worth it - remember that we're looking out for you
we're on top of things

no worries






 


a m e r i c a n   s e l f i e




sweet dreams
are made of these


you're not alone - no, not just yet - but hey
there's a movie coming out soon - top shelf
and you my friend 


are in it






 

Saturday 15 February 2014

nebraska

it's a flat land - flat people - it's grey a lot
people drink to forget

ok yes, my trajectory is uncertain 
but at least - there's this
rusty remnant

it's my take on this wonderful film
having just watched it - inspired
it started further south
in a quiet place
years ago 



n e b r a s k a 








ok, Pointe Aux Roches Ontario
same difference - displaced unemployed
 french canadians living in shacks on welfare cheques
why here

?


orange buses take kids to school an hour away in Comber 
shooting mushy spit-balls in the rear seats through gutted bic pens
and it's always cold - even in summer
there's a train that rolls through 
every day, but never stops

mostly american owned summer cottages 
on southern Lake Saint Clair - remote
older local kids (a kilometer away)
have pellet guns and sling-shots
that can take out a cat's eye
from a hundred feet, hell
even mini-bikes and 
ski-doos!

i'm not allowed to hang out with them (but do anyway)
ah, ok - not a whole lot to do here
7 years - in purgatory 

alone

  






CKLW-AM radio (Windsor) to ease the pain
only because they play motown (and Grand Funk Railroad)
Dad and step-mom like it too
sometimes - but not always 
defaulting to Eddy Arnold
on the record player
in lit zone

Mom and step-dad have no idea
where we even are
far away

welcome to my life in 1968
on a shallow brown lake that looked a lot
like the broken sky

there's a dog turd in Doug and Wayne Poole's bedroom 
smells bad - flies/bugs - impervious
it's been there for a few days/crusty surface
their dad comes home drunk every night - smacks their mom around
Laura Poole just sits at the kitchen table smoking cigarettes all day
and waits for him.  showing myself out
before the shit-show begins



n e b r a s k a









alright

everyone has a thorn in their side 
and a cut on their head 

it's about missing teeth
and false expectations
my childhood 

dad's fucked up again - sheeeit 
helping him get up - to the couch
"go to sleep - gonna be ok
in the mornin' "

it's a place that i'm most familiar with
too much time and not enough inspiration

i'm thinkin' 

maybe not your movie but mine
a film i just saw
amazing 

highly recommended
ok, long story.  let's just say 
that i loved my music
at the time 









succinctly capturing the essence of my childhood
in Stoney Point Ontario with my younger brother  
flat-lands/grey-scales in black and white
a prudent production maneuver 
regardless

i'm just a bit confused at the moment
why is life so difficult anyway

?


just a question
just a tad curious, like you possibly are too
in front of a mid-afternoon fuzzy TV that gets 3 stations on a good day   

"thinkin' it's time for another round of beers Martha"








n e b r a s k a
 

thinking tonight 
it's all in the outlook
assessing and resolving
life is what you make it, yes?
heard that somewhere
before too

and regardless of the setbacks?
i'm much preferring to look onwards and upwards

i'm betting that you share that
with me 



dedicated to Glen James LaMarche
(1925 - 2002) 



(you could play the clip and re-read this whilst - recommended) 




Thursday 21 November 2013

King Warrior Magician Lover



archetypal
masculine shadow systems
connected to real life/pop culture
is revealing - even entertaining

Carl Jung was way ahead of his time 
still is

ok, look at "the Governor" 
in the TV series/books, "The Walking Dead"

deeply mysterious 
he envelopes all aspects of the masculine psyche 
in searing detail
in and out of the light
in and out of the shadows




King Warrior Magician Lover
 








yes, that character, Brian Blake (aka Governor) makes the series pertinent
because he is relevant

 just a man, human 
complex and most tactile, almost accessible
triggering all the feminine hormones 
because he's so beautiful to look at 
and just far enough out of reach
fighting a common cause
and yet disturbed

things happen
when we're faced with a life or death scenerio
surrounded by zombies who want
to eat us for breakfast
making us one too
i'm fascinated
by this 









"walkers" - "biters" - "adversaries"
doesn't matter

these paradox's, allegories, juxtapositions
and childhood fables measure up
there's a bitter cold wind swirling
outside - and i miss you 
Daddy

good and evil
come delivered on multiple platforms/formats
let's just say that desperate measures
are sometimes required and

it brings out the best and worst in us
either way 

have another cognac
my friend

there is much to discuss









Brian Blake is beautiful for that very reason
because he's real - the driven antagonist
deeply moved in his quest for absolution
and yet utterly lost

disconnected 


embracing all aspects in all 4 quadrants
in real time - and before us
asking the question

who are you
what are you


?









ok, the masculine psyche is complex
and yet painfully simple at the same time
example; we see a beautiful hot girl
stunning face, amazing body/hair etc
then comes the familiar tsunami of arousal
lightning bolts forming into a congressional hearing
in our loins

only the bill is passed in a split second
our hunter, gatherer instincts kick in
and we seek immediate closure 
at all cost 

then - we see our daughters/mothers eyes in her
 and in a sudden flash and it all changes
we grow up.  how is that possible - every once in a while ...



we have a vision



something more important
than a delicious romp
in the flesh - perhaps 

it's an operating system in an antiquated technology
transforming it into a whole new discovery
allowing me to deliver this to you
just the way i want to
right here and now

sometimes, the unthinkable happens
we dissolve, surrender
beautiful actually
some men get it
most don't 

some create
some destroy

"hey baby - come here
i got big plans for you"








we men are fundamentally bipolar
in our gender rendering
granted some have learned
to seamlessly integrate our feminine natures
into our daily lives without the repercussions,
without the damaging homophobia
and all the ramifications
exposed in chaos


i'm still trying to figure it all out myself
it's really convoluted and yet
fun still



King Warrior Magician Lover

 

i see the masculine shadow system
daily in many way shapes/forms
and have learned to appreciate
all of them

all dimensions, all re-incarnations/refurbished restorations sold for 1/3 less

Daddy?  you still RULE dude!

on behalf of all men on the planet
just be patient - please






oK
I've had my "come to Jesus" moment here


I'm doing 2 whole hours a day in the gym now
and i haven't smoked crack in a solid month
I'm a whole new man

speaking of "solid"
have a look at what I got going on down here
(subtle wink)


some things just don't get any better
than this


"if you are the desert
i'll be the sea
if you ever hunger
hunger for me
whatever you ask for
that's what i'll be"






Friday 13 September 2013

valedictory



i'm a hero ...


oK ... In 1970, I was 13 and in a secret vote in grade 8, I was chosen to speak on behalf of my graduating class at Centennial Central School, in Comber Ontario.  It came out of nowhere, and I was READY!  Bring it ON!



v a l e d i c t o r y







What's odd thinking back, was that I was no where near the having the highest marks ... narrowing it down to 3 choices - the smartest boy, the smartest girl and me (for some reason).  I wasn't even that popular - an outcast perhaps.  Someone who could speak up for those less fortunate.   A friend of mine said that it was a unanimous vote for me (having broken the rules and peeked) - the teacher asking the students to bow their heads down on our desks and raise our hands for the one they wanted to speak for them at our graduating ceremony - calling out the contestants names and counting the votes ... and the winner is ...



v a l e d i c t o r y

 

I went home that night, rather stunned and told my dad that I had been chosen to give the class speech in 2 weeks, to an auditorium full of parents, teachers and our graduating class in a celebration of our terms end, telling my dad that I was nervous and might need his help/assistance with the address.  Dad wrote my speech for me.  It was like there were no options in the matter.

You see;  I lived in an extremely repressed world back then.  I was in an empty environment under the virulent control of my Dad who basically told me that he would be writing his sermon (on my behalf).   This is it here (below) ...  

I remember my Dad toiling over it - chipping carbon copies into an ancient typewriter with multiple versions of the tenuous text - before arriving at his masterpiece while I listened to Deep Purple on my cassette player in my bedroom - wondering what it would look/read like. 

and so the eventful evening arrived.









I was summoned early in the proceedings.  Mrs. McConnell in exclamation ... "And now a word from our graduating class Valedictorian - Jimmy Lamarche".   Joyous jubilation in much anticipation.  Waiting in the side-lines and feeling what adult perspiration was like for the first time.  Dressed in a suit and tie, my hair combed to perfection hard-gelled with sticky vaseline, walking up the platform stairs in shoes that hurt my feet because they were way too small, shivering and shaking ... pulling out my scripted script  and Dad's words (not mine) ...

(here goes nothing) ...



PARENTS, MR. ATTRIDGE, MRS. McCONNELL, FELLOW STUDENTS:

For generations, elementary education has often been referred to as THE THREE R's … Readin' … Ritin' … AND Rithmetic.

As the school terms have passed behind me I have become convinced that this reference might very well be outdated; and possibly now we should consider changing this saying to THE FOUR R's !!!  Through guidance at home, and during my fascinating trip from Kindergarten through grade eight, I have become increasingly aware that for all students … and for all civilized people, the FOURTH "R" stands for RULES !!

From the minute we wake up in the morning, until we are sound asleep at night … at home, and at school, our existence is determined by an impressive array of RULES; many of which sometimes seem unimportant … others may be even MORE important than the original three "R's".  Most privileges in this world, it sees to me, are only available to the people who are willing to pay for them through RESPONSIBILITY.  In other words, we are being asked to PLAY THE GAME; and all games have RULES.




 




Let us not lose sight of the obvious privileges which have surrounded us, especially here at this modern, well-equipped, and well-staffed school.  The years we have been privileged to spend here have given us the stepping stone to what  CAN be a truly wonderful future; and I feel that we should never forget that our excellent education to this point in our lives would never have been possible … WITHOUT RULES!!

Every responsible person connected with our school … This one, and the schools in our future, has a set of RULES or guide-lines which must be followed.  The members of the School Board; our principal; our teachers; our students, and our parents must accept these rules and abide by them … otherwise, the entire undertaking would have long since fallen apart in confusion and failure.

… RULES WILL ALWAYS be with us !!!

Many times we may believe that some rules are too strict … or unnecessary altogether.  However, I have learned that when this thought crosses our minds, we should PUT ON THE BRAKES for an instant … stop … and remind ourselves that rules were not made to be broken, as some would have us believe.  Let's be honest with ourselves, and those around us.  Let's face up to the responsibility of that FOURTH "R" as we move from this stepping stone up to the next … and the next is higher education.  As long as we PLAY THE GAME, I'm sure that our chances of success, happiness, and even survival are very high indeed!!!









I am honoured to have this opportunity to say a few words on behalf of the graduating Grade Eight students of Centennial Central School.  I know that I speak for all of them when I say to you, that we are grateful for the faith which has been placed in us; allowing us to continue our search for knowledge past Grade Eight.  This search is becoming so very important in these rapidly changing times.

We thank the members of the school board;  Mr. Attridge;  every teacher and our parents for abiding by their responsibilities;  making and living by the rules !!!  This has made our progress possible.  We sincerely thank you all for your wisdom and your guidance and for your patience with us.

You have played the game very well!  You have passed the ball to us.  We shall honestly try to carry it safely into the end zone.

June 25, 1970
Centennial Central School, Comber Ontario




 and so ...

What I vividly remember, is finishing my speech to a resounding silence - standing there in a botched, bewildered trance - facing the vacant crowd - clearly not knowing what to think of - what was THAT?  After a few long tortuous seconds there was a single clap, followed by a well choreographed second, third - then the room.  I was embarrassed - humiliated.




v a l e d i c t o r y




Honestly, in that moment ... I was shitting my pants because Dad's speech was garbage and it was almost like everyone knew that I didn't write this and that it was written for me - likely by my father (who else)?  Brutal.  I crawled off the stage like a wounded weasel unknowing of my real future despite the rhetoric and none of my class-mates talked to me for the rest of the festivities.  I wondered why back then sitting alone in the back of the gym - ribbons and balloons (my dad gone).  wondering ... what to do. 

I wrote this piece of music (gone forever) 23 years later in a dream on Westminster Ave in Parkdale Toronto ... waking suddenly and going to my studio at 4am and quietly recording it in about an hour.   It reminds me of that eerie evening in Comber Ontario decades earlier.

Better late than never.  I'm finding that the most redeeming works of art are all too often conceived in a few short moments - like this was.  Oh and one thing I've learned since ...  

rules kill