Saturday 2 March 2013

nature's WAY

there's a chill in the air



 

we live in the confines of our environment
it's a beautiful sunny day in mexico in the winter
for a couple of north american campers on vacation
all inclusive - all elusive
tanning in paradise
lotsa booze


oK, amazing sex


crisis? what crisis?
boner service is excellent, thank you
my wife is rotting in zimbobwe  
enough said

this girl is my "assistant"
yep - hot - it's how i roll now 



nature's WAY 
 



    

meanwhile

 next door, there's a typhoon in the philippines
people getting swept under the muck
bacteria levels - through the roof
death is a routine delivery there
mommy daddy gone

it's a broadcast voice on TV
eating KFC ... WTF ... OMFG

"i was just sitting there
playing with my barbie

when the water came in

and flushed us down
the toilet"  






an unfortunate stain
on this imported satin
 

granted, ok - winters in Toronto can be brutal
sometimes we get 20cm of frikkin snow 
on the ground - under our manicured toes
and the roads get slippery - and shit flies
people get mean  - short tempered
and it gets messy

i hate winter
i mean ok - we struggle

dinner is ruined

.

some are more resiliant than others
in matters of the spirit
some take it better







i mean oK
we can fight the elements OR
we can surrender and succumb
moving on - detached
redemption


no contest 


we FIGHT - Spartacus conquers
you piece of fucking shit 
we fight - our favourite sport
masturbation - we fight
ah great release


we fight


for our right to hold on to resentment
for our opportunity to exercise revenge
i dream of it every night because
i hold onto daddy - only daddy is
gone forever


alone again - naturally




  


i've locked old wounds into flimsy lockers
in the back of my fermenting psyche
buried deep in my limbic
promising to keep 
them - secret

i mean - shit
it's embarrassing - and i'd really prefer
to forget about it

only i can't - it's a haunting shadow
that follows me around
the remnants of shame and regret

i'm what - a breach baby
just shut - the fuck up and make it happen
i'm royalty you insipid cunt 





 

king . warrior . magician . lover

door number 3 please
with 100 on the bonus round
and the trip for 2 to los vegas
and the show-girl blowjob
coming complimentary


spin - the wheel 
(audience clapping) 
  

i still hold anger because my parents were fakes
dad way more than mom - at least she cared
reaching for her - gone - ah shit - oK she
loved me - distracted tho, like dad
narcissism extended - dysfunction
incalcitrant calculation 
failing 

it's still amazing to me
as to how some
can remain humble
humility is indeed in short supply







you my friend, are a sage
carrying and dispersing your wisdom
where-ever you go - you grow

and i love you  

walking in the grass with a stick
impervious to natures way
scarred too - and yet
you remain true
on course


you remind me of what i can still do


i can still make a difference in this world
i can be alive and celebrate life
i can circumnavigate
and plan it

i used to be beautiful you know
i still can be

just takes a little eyeshadow
and blush




  
 

i feel optimism
it's in the unraveling of the lies 
do we find our truths

i'm struggling still
my feet are cold
winter is brutal 

wallowing in despair
is a form of masochism
only there is a twisted, addictive
pleasure in it


nature's WAY
 

it's not what or how much we consume
it's how our consumption
defines us







i am consumed and distracted
a delicate balance
i mean, after all

karma aside?
it's all in the choices we make AND 

 

it's the pain that keeps us


alive 



(dedicated to my friend chris landreth) 






Saturday 2 June 2012

my name is luka



i live on the second floor

just don't ask me - what it was
just don't ask me - how i am 

yes, we are exposed to twists and turns
tips and tricks
i am fascinated by this one 
only because i see it everywhere
surfacing on the physical plane
wishful sexual dysfunction

this is the guy from montreal - far left
who recently cut his lover 
up into pieces
and mailed his body parts - express post


i have a theory
 




 
every once in a while
the shadow wants to expose himself
only - because she ever so desperately needs to be seen
this is a stretch - BUT - going there

tornado torpedo - typhoon tsunami
pass the popcorn
and settle back

ok, i'm no rap-star
but perhaps this fumbling prose is a start

it's all in the news - it's headline horror
a chance to be real - out there


maybe it's because i'm crazy
i try not to act too proud

 
 


luka rocco magnotta



they only hit until you cry
after that - you don't ask why

you just don't argue - anymore 

i'm the tormented trickster - my eye on the throne
the displaced lover - throw me a bone
the morose magician - i'll make you see
my twisted sister - on a mission of mercy

playing out my game of russian roulette - in style
using all my available resources for a while
seamless state of the art technology
download me in HD - while i'm still free
having everything and yet tossing it all into the sea
because - i can - no choice now - you have to look - at me

right here - today
my show - done my way 
 

because fundamentally - it doesn't matter
mother fucker - father sucker
i am hearing - too much chatter

and so dear friends and faithful readers
welcome back to yet another erase and rewind
a dance in dementia - a trip down another musty corridor 
(ah so i how miss - the twilight zone)

my name is luka






it's an invented name, but it's what i go by - now
many interpretations - mixed yet always curious
the result in lubricated rotation - carefully cooked - changing
depending on where my moon-mood is - and who i'm with
to some ... i'm gay and to others
ac/dc - what difference does it make
when you're evenly baked

ok, i'm a boy, who is a girl sometimes - flawless form
questionable karma in a perfect storm

am i a boy?  or am i a girl??  perhaps, you will never know
it doesn't matter - just going to make it so

it's a claim to fame
just needing 15 minutes
to launch my name

ok, maybe you still don't get it


i'm red hot




 i am larger than life

i am aphrodite and i am devout
hero and heroine
soon, you'll find out

i'll be whomever you want me to be - make me soft
take me and make me
because i am the one - who gets off

oh yeah
 
i kill things 

animals and people
 give me a cam

just don't ask me - how i am




i am part of something bigger and better
than YOU will ever be
because i am omnipotence personified

click and claim me

i want you to fuck me
before i kill you
my world is a non-linear extraction
in post-nuclear posturing
radiation sperm illumination - powder blue hue
only i am me - and you 

are just you




who is this piece of shit
chinese - extermination eclipsing ecstasy

i'll cut you and paste you, wherever i please
because i have you - on your knees

i can spew your body parts wherever i choose
cause in the end, i win and you lose
it's just assumed

that it's important news
stay tuned



my name is luka

 




i live on the second floor
i live upstairs from you
yes i think you've seen me before
if you hear something late at night
some kind of trouble, some kind of fight

just don't ask me - what it was
just don't ask me - how i am 


(older posts - lower right)











Friday 13 April 2012

blood of eden



they don't take credit … only gold


i'm not sure i get it yet
working on it

this connection we're supposed to have
with the opposite sex
tis maybe why i'm 56 and single



 

girlfriends yes earlier on
 then married, divorced - drifting i guess
i'm still trying to figure it out

maybe i'm bi-polar

i think, i messed up there somewhere
a momentary lapse of reason
lingering into the middle ages

protecting myself
that useless extended warranty i paid extra for
man overboard

the line growing tight - the premature struggle, then the release
shit - you had it on - hooked - feeling the loss - what happened
distracted for a second - you snooze, you lose
idiot


my grip is surely slipping - i think i've lost my hold

and so my friends






welcome back - it's another quest
for clarification

i find it helps - to just put it out there



b l o o d   o f   e d e n


it's a song i remember
one summer - years ago
made sense in the moment
ringing true

i was distracted - yet curious
the barrage of deceptions

adam and eve and the subsequent fairy tales
 in familiar folklore - the little mermaid
penthouse and playboy
victorias secret

the books, magazines, catalogues, movies and the TV shows
we watched growing up - jaws dropped and wide eyed
in black and white - later in technicolour

how it was supposed to be - all wrong
an earnest attempt at normality
submersed in conclusion





coming out later in real life, in a requiem
last call - maybe later
stumbling into slumber - the recurring images
under closed eyelids - rapid eye movement
sparkling lights
shaking - slow motion


is that a dagger or a crucifix i see
you hold so tightly in your hand
and all the while the distance grows between you and me
i do not understand 
 

i rarely see it work right - relationships
even those still together after years - decades
water under the bridge
cracked yet still standing - celebrated

in this golden anniversary - marking the induction
dads jokes and moms gravy

grace





ah, the institution of matrimony
family

in the gestures of good will
hanging on for dear life
in co-dependence, false security and creature comfort

and yet - maybe ... just maybe, in genuine appreciation
of our cozy counterpart

real love exists - in virtuous unconditional surrender
the purge of narcissism - and the embrace of humility
in remembrance of our mortality
wishing wisdom

timeless
kiss


at my request, you take me in
in that tenderness, i am floating away
no certainty, nothing to rely on
holding still for a moment
what a moment this is
oh for a moment of forgetting 
a moment of bliss







one learns new lessons
inside and outside of the box
no judgements

floating

in quiet reflection - looking out on our setting sun
the early stars in the approaching nightsky
the sparkling lights again - drifting

we are essentially alone - either way
holding - still

regret ... still

there's nothing worse
than missing the boat











i caught sight of my reflection
i caught it in the window
i saw the darkness in my heart
i saw the signs of my undoing
they had been there from the start
and the darkness still has work to do
the knotted chord's untying
they're heated and they're holy
oh they're sitting there on high
so secure
with everything they're buying



b l o o d   o f   e d e n