Friday, 17 April 2015

the prime directive


the directive is not a matter of degree
it is an absolute
.

in the thousands of TV shows I've watched over the years
there is this one fragrant fragment that sticks out

 over all the others
twilight zone was way cool
then came star trek
so simple
 
it's an "idea" pure in thought
and rich in reward - rising to the occasion
.

leave her ALONE


wishful wisdom
welcome to




t h e   p r i m e   d i r e c t i v e

 







going where no man belongs

we go over there and we take something
that doesn't BELONG to us
what's up with that

and another one bites the dust
oh why can i not conquer
love

?


well perhaps ... just maybe
love is not about
conquering 

anything
(we men - still struggling with that)


the words 'compression' ... 'compassion' and 'creation' come to mind  
if you're good with that - ok maybe just this once

we can touch

just lose the erection expectation extraction - attachment
because Daddy, you are barking (like the dog you are)

up the wrong tree

the directive's relevance 
is most pronounced in our gender political
our excessive extremes - born
in the prickly brambles 

on our poisoned soil - magnified
in the media









entangled
in the feminine principle
all good (for now) 

promises?  later 
a sexual misunderstanding 
we'll talk - later and
BTW you look
beautiful

on our earth - our home
in the bedroom mostly - and also
in our relationship with other nations
oK - with others who simply need time to process
the immensity of life's corrupt reconditioning on their 
own terms - and in their own time

without interference
imposed


a delicate balance 
where those in recovery/discovery
need to remain untouched, detached and
because our absence is best realized

 in the blessing - bereft
of badgering


then another one bites the dust
it's hard to lose a chosen one


affirmative action
absent of anger
abundant
 









this conceptual law applies 
particularly to those who are below 
a certain threshold of technological, scientific and cultural development
(ok, lower in the food chain)
preventing outside influences
from using our superior technology
where they (in turn) can impose their will
on us - ah ok ... it's

a legal (lethal) thing - shishhh


brilliant and yet so removed
from our daily life now years later 
where we tenuously temper tantrum tamper
testing trust

worrying is praying
for something we don't want
left is right, up is down
chaos instruction
construction

going back

in that recurring episode of star trek then - making total sense
over and over - why do we distress
so much?

in the zone again - watching/listening
breathing

the next generation - right
yep, a frikkin TV show - ancient yet
relentlessly relevant

i wore that DVD series out 
the allegorical implications
are timeless







 


ridiculously responsive
praying with my master


oK, just telling it like it is
just feels good - oK ...

with or without the tao in front of me

it's universal



sometimes 'listening' works so much better than talking
sometimes no one really cares
what you think, because
what you think?

doesn't matter
anyway

so what's the 'point' of all this?

  sometimes we just need to leave him/her - them ALONE
so that they can figure it out on their own
without interference - without our insipid temporary relief

thinking - "humility"

absent from our parental prescription
doomed to failure - free 

from the fall-out - the fumble - the frozen fortitude

without a new set of false fear formality
all the new orders to contend with
contrived in puritan pretension
ah ...


finally - frailty










realizing that our days - are numbered
either way - with or without
the perks - the love

it's that casual look in the horror mirror
or out a late autumn wanting window monotone
after putting on too much make-up in mask-mode
or perhaps none - because it doesn't matter anymore

too little - too late

that dark glance on the street
from that tortured male soul who is lost
wanting help - just a connection - and yet
needing space

getting to know him briefly
(over cocktails)
ok engaging - then

you dear - are a pain in my ass
it's a soap opera only silent


there was that little something there
that only I could see
she used to think
that I was pretty good lookin'
back in the day

"sheeit, you wouldn't be here, weren't for me"

comforting words

 







Dad (RIP), later in life
(in one of our drunken stupors)
absent/empty of spirit and hope - wanting him still

looking at me like I'm a freak
just wanting to get it OUT there
using all this 'new-age' training I now have
the 12 steps "Be Here Now/What's So"
what ever ... it's time

the 2 years in "mens group"
redefining my masculinity
absent of judgement
yadda

making amends - clearing the air
it's time to repair ... let's get this OVER with

"I'm a singer Dad - I make music now
I'm even signed to a major record company
and I'm working on a new album"

long silence - testing me
taking the bait


over Bob Seger triangulating - loudly - distorted sound - brutal, and all so perfect

distractions abundant - all part of the master plan
all clean and neat in the heat
 in Belle River, Ontario - July 1998 - hot
third pitcher of Labatt's Blue - his beverage of choice (almost empty BTW)

so ya - jokes on you kid
joke's on me - ya right

"so hey - earth to DAD"









"yeah, that's my brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee
I just drove you here in - they're called advances 
big cheques - made out to ME - I get them
every month now"

truth is - the label dropped me 10 years ago
and I'm drifting - whatever - playing his game
just the way he taught me it  

oh no - here we go ... he speaks (cowering)
  "you know what I hate most about modern music"?
he says


OMG, can't wait (cringing - waiting - enlighten me)

"it's the screaming women - needing to make their futile fucking point"
"ok, i mean - what do those sluts have to complain about anyway"?

.


aching - sweating - shivering
scared - it's frightening
(ok, magic mushrooms didn't help like i thought they might - bad trip)

brutal - and right
screaming women, what's up with that?

looking into my eyes for the first time
in hours - only longer this time

shaking my head - right
hammered










sitting, listening
imploding

not daring to tell him

wanting/needing to scream myself 

my mom left him in 1966 
because she simply couldn't
endure his pain
anymore

and in the fallout of that

leaving myself
too

fuck that shit





t h e   p r i m e   d i r e c t i v e


  

it's all in the reverberation
meddled with
madness

one cannot escape
from the demon seed

ever

breathing deeply helps
lots of exercise - listening
organic greens - wishing I could do more


in the immediate


needing freedom
needing to move again
breathe again










leave me alone
you're smothering me 

just - go - away

get OUT 
of our rage cage 

because if you stay
i will chew you to pieces

ok, i'd love to pro-create with you (dickwad)
but it would appear - that your priorities
are different from mine - so no/nadda

won't happen

you can't cage me, rape me - ah no - never
you cannot break me


stupid man