homophobic

my mother says - to get things done
you better not mess with major tom



h o m o p h o b i c



 





1980

i've heard a rumour from ground control

oh no, don't say it's true


like ok - you know i'm not supposed to be out with you
and that if we're seen together - i'm like DEAD
but whatever - sipping on a warm soda
trying to look pretty - toenails
freshly painted pink

in observation
OMG - don't look

but over there - is this guy - in the corner booth sitting alone
he's wearing lipstick - eewww!


growing up in a small conservative town
in the 60's and 70's was so strange
guys were guys - girls were girls
there was absolutely

 no question


it was a time if/when a guy looked the least bit feminine
or a girl looked the least bit masculine

freak-show - outcasts

a haunting decade before playstation
and the internet - before easy access
to porn

ah ya - young minds tend to wander 
so what's it to you anyway?

right - you wanna roll with me - but
you don't want any of your friends
to know



 





back at the booth across from a girl with nice tits
and is lookin' real hot right now

ya laffs - that's Bobby or Bobbi (what he prefers)

"ya, i do that" - exhaling smoke - alley, club music pounding at a distance

"blow, e, love hash - right" 
laughing nervously - long pause - awkward moment

"ok, like you - are so fucking scared right now 
shitting your pants, and that's freaking me out,
gotta go"

the memory flash evaporates
back to Brianna (sag)

headshake - right - back to
reality


don't worry babe - he's harmless
cremepuff - carnival show - crash and burn
fudge-packer - (leaning over whispering) - fucks guys

omfg she gasps before tightening
(yes we said oh my fucking god, even in 1980)


shunning light - embracing night
dreaming of his destiny in a padded room
no quarter

so yep - bonafide freakshow
back to a week ago - outside the all-ages club
on the outskirts of town - where teens mix


so ya - Bobby Bobby - Bobbi Bobbi Bobbi
come over here, a little closer - where we can chat
so - what the fuck actually just happened back there

little buddy?

grade 12, like me
ok OMG
 
he does arts and I do shop
feeling agitated - ah ok - let's just relax
don't pay any attention to him (it)
because that's what he wants
to be different and noticed
for who he really fucking
IS - and
wants you to see 
who you really are too

pathetic
so tell me more

catching my breath
oh yeah - yep, he has friends
freaks just like him - hanging in his basement
parents in absentia - clueless
the whole town knows
what that's all about
except their
parents

always at the casino


they switch houses, but we always
catch up with them

watching







they got a message from the action man

i'm happy -  hope you're happy too

smoking dope and listening to strange music
(bowie and human league mostly)
i'd love to be a fly on the wall
listening to that

not that i'm interested
nope - ME?  not a chance
i'm in total control
of my destiny
sister

just curious is all
what they talk about ... do
truth is - quietly leaning forward
me and the guys?
well - weeze be kewL
(witta Kapital L - ole school)


and all under the radar baby


h o m o p h o b i c

 


i never done good things
 - i never done bad things

i never did anything out of the blue

.


calm down - stop crying

ya we kicked Bobbi's face in a few times
nothing heavy really babe - promise, but ya
always returning to that same booth
after having been bulldozed into landfill
in techni-colour trench-coats

more make-up caked on to cover it
almost daring us to do it again
ya, me and the guys - are cool
(slight twitch)






 



then came 1981
after a decade of gender appropriate
experimental music/art
wondering what was next
never ever expecting
i mean - OK


WTF


MTV - cool ya and - Duran Duran, The Police, Tears for Fears
Bowie - Michael Jackson, Queen, Elton John
ah, so John Lennon dies and THIS?
is what we GIT??

remember the Village People?  barf
prog rock disintegrates - and we get hosed?
fakkin' DISCO?

wait a minute - all these superstars
are fucking freaks, and people
are actually into this shit










time and again i tell myself
i'll stay clean tonight
but the little green wheels are following me
oh, no, not again
 

hours, weeks, daze in a maze
soap on a rope - yes the mind wanders

watching this shit on my TV
getting high over and over
familiar knock - sittin in yer usual spot

rolling a j - looking at me ... "holy shit dude!"

ya,  it's an ear-ring fuknuts!
it's like "cool" now

get over it




h o m o p h o b i c

 


they say great art is timeless 
allowing the observer an opportunity 
to take in something new
every time you 
allow it in


simple - less is more - interiors vs. exteriors
a higher spirit vs. religion


my mother says - to get things done
you better not mess with major tom


so yes, there was a major shift in 1980

like a big wall coming down
from black and white into greyscale
and then into colour - lo-fi to high definition
finally allowed to think

both ways
without shame, blame, games

and - that wandering into a black sky
with my mom - telling me how it's supposed to be
can still be healing