Sunday, 8 July 2012

healer



"be faithful in small things
because it is in them - that your strength lies"

Mother Teresa



h e a l e
  






 
ok, i see things
it's an assumption


that fundamentally, we're all equal - embedded in the constitution
here in Canada especially - then there's "karma" 
then there's reality - the judgements - the walls of shame 
the psychopaths we've worked under
hanging on to our squishy hope on a rope  
dangling in the media maze
welcome to the fear factory - centuries of criminal behavior
 

conditionally condoned
crushing
me

adverse conditions creating chaos - abort alpha one charlie delta fox 
i'm going down - mayday - mayday - mayday
"requesting an emergency rescue evac - unknown co-ordinates 
on fire - crash and burn scenario subject seduction - with respect
just get your ass into the situation - now sir"

i need a healer








"a man is but the product of his thoughts 
what he thinks, he becomes"

Mahatma Gandhi 


going down in flames
little chance of recovery
fading voices - shadowy shape shifters
downward spiral - blunt force - smoke - fire -
reverberation - condemnation into redemption
a shady relapse into consciousness - maybe
who are you - where did you come from
why are you here
angel

she lies next to him in silence - shields down - surrender 
darkened room - in port - docked - respite repair
only it's a haze - a dream - years ago with her
is this real

in their bedroom - early on
only it's now - odd

reaching over and touching his wounded shoulder during intimacy
when time stood still - before anything mattered - this
 a genuine gesture that feels good - caring
in war crimes - realizing time is short
in this moment - stillness



h e a l e r
 


 



"you - are a healer"  he says - a simple acknowledgement 
spoken quietly in the presence of grace and humility
empathy - compassion - deliverance - she receives the message in form
no expectation - only loving, accepting resolve - nothing matters
only what is right here - right now ... you are everything
and you are nothing


"shhhhhhh - close your eyes now - sleep dear"




Kveikjum varðeld, þá að komi kvöld
Og orðin bíðum bláköld
Við reisum aftur á sifurskjól
Og vindur undan frá


let's light a bonfire, when it's evening
and words wait blue-cold
let's build again a silver shelter
and winds from underneath




that caress along your receding hair line
that soft kiss on your cheek - drifting
into slumber  - ah
home 

it's a return to something that happened
a long time ago - in a land
far far away










"the wound ... is the place where the light enters you"

Rumi


no attachment - no shame - no pretension - no fallout - no "discussion"
no need to pretend and/or hide behind anything 
no cruel constructions  - no walls of blame - no borderlines
it's simple, i think - it's all about "listening" (not speaking)  
the truth ultimately unfolds in receiving information
taking it in gently

some people make you feel good - inspired - healthy
and others make you feel sick - it's a power thing - to prove something
starting with mom and dad - a negotiation in numbness - carrying on later
gutter garbage - kept in a box in our closet - years pass
the relentless ramifications in retarded rules
returning

karmic attraction - why am i pulled into you
you're sick and i still love you
why


Þrjú lagst út
Og reitum til alls tiðna
Út allt, allt út


three laid out
and fields of everything melted
out all, all out










when she walks into a room  
my heart goes bing - bang - boom - "mommy"!
waking from a dream at 5am - heart pounding - so real OMG 
so right there - i could touch her - shivering shaking
i feel cold

my pillow soaked in saliva and tears - it smells
my sweaty sheets drenched in overworked mind play
can't sleep now - awake until the morning light

awesome dream - nonetheless - thinking - staring
into a dark room that only reminds me of mortality
hours turning into days
wondering - what if
hours and hours in somnia - in mourning 
remembering - reality
she's gone

we all are conditioned to give and take according to the plan
braised on high heat from the very beginning - barbequed chicken 
 deliciously sauced and served with a side of our choice 

the daily posturing - elevated success - breakthrough yet again 
or so we think - rest and reflection rules - the jugular juggler
distant distraction - losing focus for a split second - shit
balls falling randomly to the floor - and yet still - catching calmness
we all make mistakes - we all have regrets - we're human
and we deserve forgiveness - and so


thank you
 






"if you can help others, DO; if you cannot do that 
at least do not harm them"

Dalai Lama 



i've been thanking myself a lot lately - it works - thank you

for staying true to who i am
for not always submitting to the prisons that contain and control me
for letting myself breathe again - for allowing myself to be alive  
thank you - actually saying it out loud to myself
it's amazing - acknowledging self - ongoing
praising wisdom

it's not easy but it's doable - a return to the senses 
back to natural order - peace - and so

when i work out - thank you
when i eat a salad - thank you
when i show compassion towards someone - thank you
when i take care of myself

the healer is a conduit of electrical energy 
seen externally but realized internally
embracing fear and the unknown - knowing that life can be fair 
despite the odds

for some it's religion - for others it's faith 
for others it's a simple good nights sleep
awakening into resolution and refreshment  
for me it's all of the above
i am thank-full - yes god - the affirmation
the adoration returning

thank you








we are still children - who need to be loved
we are still teenagers - who need to be loved
we are still adults - who need to be loved

we all become old and nimble
ashes to ashes - dust to dust - i want to say it again - please
just one more time - only this time - meaning it
"i do"

and so dear friends - a coming of ages
late in the game - a game changer
better late than never




h e a l e r


 
it doesn't matter who you are - or what you stand for
it's not about your conquests or your fears, regrets
your accomplishments - or your mistakes
none of that

it's about your intention
in willingness to let go of everything
lose the baggage
ah

right here - right now







"a lie cannot live"


Martin Luther King



i think she's trying to send me a signal

yes - up there ... see it

"mommy - i'm right here
over here - i'm cold mommy"
"i didn't lie - promise - ah shit
ok maybe once"
 - sending -

"i'm ready to come home now
do you read me"


?


mommy - daddy
where are you
i'm lost 
here


all those promises
you made




h e a l e r
  
 

no quarter - over
and out 








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